I’ve found myself to become more irritable as of late. The frustrations of life are setting in. The real issue is that I think this is “shrugged off” by native Ukrainians. They have always had to deal with the BS, the change, the insecurity, the lack of judgment, the inequality, the mud, the smell, the attitudes, the loudness, the lack of law, the selfishness, the struggle.

For me, this is new in many ways. Sure, I’ve experienced those (above listed, and many more) emotions and feelings in the past, for sure. Who hasn’t? Surely not a single, sound-of-mind human over the age of 20 years. However, coming from a culture where life is generally quite good — and coming to a very different place — is a struggle.

I’m finding that my coping mechanisms are being tested. And stretched, and queried routinely, and challenged. I thought I was doing pretty well, too. But lately I’m finding myself more sensitive, vulnerable, and irritable. I don’t like it.

I think I’m going to try to get out of the house more. Fuck it. Take the risk of going places that I don’t know, by myself, without a thorough understanding of the language to fall back on in case of conflict. Moreover, I cannot say that being an American is comforting. Though most people are friendly with genuine intentions, there are also nasty people out there — that would probably love to “get their hands on an American.” Thanks George. You had a chance to rally the world, and you truly screwed it up.

Whatever,

enough of my troubles. It just feels good to write it down. Sure, my wife is experiencing the same shit… but somehow because we are both going through it at the same time, and fresh perspectives are lacking, it doesn’t help to complain to each other about the same old things, over and over again. In fact, I think I’m getting a little testy with her. It’s just frustration: and there are peaks and troughs — and for whatever reason, this new year has brought a Mt. Whitney upon us.

Ahhhhh….. breathe deep.

Be happy to be alive. Every day. It is a miracle in the making.
Feel the air (cough) replenishing your vitality.

May there be whirled peas on your plate.