So recently I’ve been saying this to my wife. I don’t think she likes it, but it’s true, and I know it strikes a nerve – so I keep doing it to reiterate my feelings.

I feel like a DOG ON A LEASH.

I’m trying to learn Russian, and I’m getting better. However, I’m often times just led around and told what to do:

go here.

buy that.

watch this.

eat that.

look here.

stay there.

sit here.

stand there.

hold this.

carry that.

we’re going here.

we’re buying that.

let’s go to the store.

let’s go for a walk.

It’s time to…

blah, blah, blah…

Kinda like this: 

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I also occasionally feel like an American on Parade.

It’s nice and all, to know that the friends we have like me, and want to get to know me. But in reality, I’m starting to realize that I’m not just me. I’m the American [husband]. We occasionally go to some friends’ house for dinner and drinks. It’s fun, and I like them… but I’ve come to realize that they obviously go out of their way to make it nice for THE AMERICAN. I didn’t feel like going last week, but Helen was in the City (Kiev) already, and she stopped by. Of course, we told them that I wasn’t going to attend — so it became a very average and typical Ukrainian meal. Which of course, there’s nothing wrong with — and it’s still very nice for them to be our (often quite generous) hosts for the evening. But in doing so, I now realize that they only go out of their way because the American is coming! Alright… maybe it’s not just because I’m an American, but being an fully red-blooded, California native, American citizen does inherently possess a special sort of status – for better and worse.

Whatever…

I just wanted to air out my feelings a bit. I really hate sticking out so much, and feeling like either a dog on a leash, or an American on parade.  (Maybe I’ll tell you more about my experiences later, but I’ve got to go eat my zavtra. Ofsanaya kasha dla zavtrak sevoydna utrum. Spaciba dla chitat.