Recently my son has been eating real food. We give him blended mixes of all kinds of stuff: meats/vegetables, fruits, etc… (consequently, things have really begun to smell – but that’s for another day).

Unfortunately he doesn’t always want to eat. Well… even when he does, there comes a point where he simply, without warning (generally), decides NO MORE. This is the first indication that The Hand is about to be unleashed.

Because we want him to grow up strong and healthy, we generally force-feed him the rest of his food whenever possible. It has nothing to do with my wife painstakingly slaving in the kitchen to produce this gustatory bambino delicacy. Really – we do NOT use the turkey baster on him more than once a week.

But seriously folks, we don’t like wasting food – and that really fresh stuff just doesn’t seem to last all that long. Moreover he definitely likes the fresh food more than anything that’s been stored – so we try to get him to eat it all when it’s fresh. When he does finish it, it’s a BIG молод`ец! (Well Done!).

Still… we’ve come to notice a consistent pattern. He stops being interested in the food unless you distract him with something else – at which point the innate feeding behavior returns for another bite or two. But then, it’s…

Resistance!

Inevitably he begins to resist. We counter-attack.

This leads to rubbing of the eyes (глаза), and concomitant blocking of the mouth (рот) (pronounced rrot).

At the first sign of weakness, we again try to slip the spoon in – perhaps after a 10 second lull in the fun and games, and while faux posturing as if we wouldn’t dare try to feed him even one more bite – we usually try one more time.

If we are very lucky, we get ONE MORE scoop in.

But then watch out…

The next attempt will be countered by a right cross, that not only takes out the spoon, but leaves the food that was on the spoon strewn about. Now this, in and of itself, wouldn’t be so impressive or hazardous, because the food stops moving – and in this case, the good eats are easy to clean up.

Unfortunately for us, our son (as I imagine most other babies) has become an expert at precisely hitting the spoon (almost while looking the other direction), splashing food all around the table, and still, miraculously, keeping at least 1/2 of the food somewhere on his hand. And Voila… we have…

Hand on the Loose!

This hand is now capable of contaminating: the chair, the face, his clothes, the table, his hair, the cat, your glasses, your clothes, your hair, the walls, the floor (not the ceiling yet, thankfully), your food, his eyes, your face, the couch, numerous toys within reach, seat cushions, windows, mirrors, and everything else you forget to keep at least one foot away. He flails – We counter. He whines – we grab a napkin. He screams – we go back and forth trying to catch… the Hand on the Loose.

I now think he simply likes the battle. He thinks it’s a game. Thinking to himself, “why should I eat that when I can play with it for at least 30 more seconds!”  To add insult to “injury,” more recently I’ve noticed that Mikey has become more calculated in his decision making – often waiting for that moment when Daddy tries to deliver a really big spoonful, so that the precious offspring can really get a full handful of ammunition…

Ahh… the joys of fatherhood. How can you resist that face

It's hard to tell, but it's blurry due to the food on the mirror...