Can you all tell I’ve been busy?

Haven’t posted in over a month… Ugh.

Anyhow, I thought I’d show you a bit of architecture. I passed by the Ukrainian National Library on my way back from Odessa a couple of weeks ago. I snapped this photo from inside the van… but it turned out OK. Classic Soviet architecture. I haven’t been inside, but Helen says it’s a “cool library.”

and I zoomed in on the text… so that you know I’m not lying

It says “National Library Ukraine.”

I’ll try to get over there on my motorcycle and have a look inside sometime soon, and I’ll report back, of course.

Cheers!

Break out the sweaters again, plug in the electric/oil radiators, stoke those wood burning stoves (not really).

The heat is off. It happens around Easter each year. There’s governmental control, if you didn’t know, over a vast majority of the heating supply to the city. Gas powers boilers, which heat water, which run through radiators in most every part of every building. I’m sure you can imagine how large an operation this is. And it’s all powered by natural gas. You remember, don’t you? — the gas that “we” weren’t paying for, that caused parts of countries to our West to go without heat for a few weeks in January? The gas “we” were being accused of stealing from Russian pipelines? Yep – the very same gas has been turned off to the big boiler rooms.

When there’s a certain number of days (10, I believe) in a row above an average specified temperature, they close the valves. Don’t quote me on this. My wife just said she thought it was governed by a specific date, irrespective of the temperature. Either way, I guess it makes sense… why heat when it is generally warming up anyway. And practically speaking, it has been warming up to the point where I’ve was beginning to wonder when it was going to happen. I doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that the heat coming from the radiators is unnecessary. The transition is a rolling one, meaning that they can’t just shut off the entire city by flicking a switch. Different areas (suburbs) are switched off at different times. Our apartment is now off, but the family home is still on – supposedly until 19 April.

I also noticed, for the first time, this year, another sure sign that Spring was officially considered to have arrived. Sure, sure, the blooming plants are a dead giveaway that greenery is right around the corner. But another indication that the Ukrainian Government also recognizes the fact that it’s getting warmer is the storage of the inner set of doors at the Metro Stations. Normally there are 2 sets of (heavy) swinging doors that one must pass through in order to enter or exit the stations. As I walked out of Luk’yanivska yesterday, I was surprised that the entire set of inner doors were removed and apparently stored for the summer. Probably ~24 doors, although I was told that there would be no math.

Let’s hope for warm weather ahead, and no freak snowstorms –> which are known to happen every now and again.

Now if I could only figure out how I can manage to go to the office in shorts, T-shirts, and flip-flops, I would be truly stoked for Summer!

It has been a very snowy Holiday Season!

We went for a walk on Orthodox Christmas Eve, and there was high pressure in the air. It was cold and crisp, and we enjoyed the briskness of it all.

Unfortunately, not all of the creatures like the cold so much.

On our walk from the Metro we caught some varmints finding refuge on the ground over some heated pipes (below the surface). Obviously the heat was significant, as it melted all of the snow in a 2-3 meter patch. Actually, there are lots of these spots around apartment buildings — It’s fairly common to see a group of 4 manholes oriented in a square. I guess there’s a room down there, with valves and stuff, to regulate the flow of water, etc… Anyway, we could see the steam spewing from the crack around a manhole cover. The pooches actually seemed pretty happy there – as they should – because there are many dogs (and other animals) out in the cold (especially outside of the city) that aren’t as lucky, and don’t make it through the winter. They first barked. But their defensiveness quickly turned to curiosity when we stopped walking. They were obviously just hoping we’d give them something to eat. No luck, and no love, as we had nothing to offer, and didn’t want to touch their [potentially] nappy fur.

We were on our way to pay our buddy for storing my Dnepr 11 (motorcycle) for the winter. As we walked through the park adjacent to the Metro, we snapped a couple of wintery pictures. Here’s a great view of Kiev’s “TV” tower – although everything has gone the way of digital cable now.

I also became a treehugger for about 10 seconds.

Incidentally, I think I represent the 1% of the Kiev population that wears a colorful jacket. Everyone else — BLACK, GREY, DARK, DRAB, or Big-Cat patterns.

On our way to pay, we also caught a presumed grandfather playing with his grandson on a sleigh in the snow. There were small hills all over this park – where people sled and play in the winter. Actually, and very sadly, it’s a Jewish Memorial) – read the Wikipedia page and you’ll learn why there are hills here.

It’s a bit fuzzy (sorry), but you get the idea.

Immediately ahead, we saw the “grown-up” version, and you didn’t need your own vehicle. Frozen tires were awaiting anyone stupid enough to attempt a ride down the icy luge. The main issue was the waviness of the descent. It’s hard to see, but by midway down the hill, you were going to be catching air for sure. Helen said it’s a common way for kids to lose teeth and break collar bones (clavicles) in the winter, when they go head-first. Which is what you do, when you TOUGH!

We chose not to test fate. I like my smile the way it is, and a good dentist is extremely hard to find here in Kiev

After paying the dude, we walked on sidewalks covered in ice for most of the way back home. Kinda sketchy, but you do what ya gotta do. Helen still doesn’t have satisfactory winter boots, and they’ve stopped re-stocking the shelves with winter apparel. Go figure.

We passed by the front side of the Dnepr Motorcycle factory. This is fairly close to what my motorcycle looks like, though mine is (somewhat) warmly tucked away in the back of a garage at the moment.

As we walked, we saw a sign with the time and temperature. Yep it was cold, at only 4:30 in the afternoon:

But as the night passed, the pressure dropped. Consequently, the clouds returned, along with their associated moisture, and we woke up to a beautiful white Orthodox Christmas (Jan 7).

snowy

Russian New Year is this coming Wednesday (Jan 14). Just one more reason to celebrate in Soviet Style

So I have to confess something. My BIL (brother in law) is a very sweet guy. Considerate and caring, simple and genuine, and he possesses many endearing qualities. However, note that BRAINPOWER is NOT one of his strong-points alluded to in the aforementioned list. Nor is vision, insight, understanding, logic, comprehension, aptitude, intelligence, cleverness, awareness, wisdom, ability, forethought, or knowledge.

My wife told me this story, and I could NOT believe it. Really… I was stupefied. In truth, I could believe it, but I didn’t really want to — and I had to see it for myself before accepting it as reality. To me, it’s something you might see on a reality TV show: real, but surreal.

Now as I tell you about this little Home Improvement episode (it really does remind me a bit of the TV show), I’m sure you will undoubtedly say “I know someone like that.” So it’s not as if this is a uniquely Ukrainian quality (or deficiency). It definitely happens elsewhere on the planet. After all, he had to have acquired the ability to perform such fixit feats from experiences in his past (parenting, childhood, teenage years, work (furniture design), etc…. and YES, he does design furniture, which makes this EVEN HARDER TO BELIEVE.

However, this is a true story, it DID happen to our family, and it DID HAPPEN AT OUR FAMILY SUMMER HOUSE (Dacha). For me, this is like “hitting below the belt,” and strikes a bit too close to home than I’d like to admit. But then again, I’m submitting this family secret to the entire internet-connected world through my weblog.

This being said, I’d like to state, for the record, that Andre is a brother-IN-LAW. And there is no, lest I repeat, NO SHARED BLOOD between us. Alrighty then…

Here’s how the story goes…

The summer house outer door (there are two doors at the entrance) tends to expand and contract with changing seasonal influences. In the fall/winter, it absorbs moisture from the surrounds (air) and, consequently, expands a bit. Sure, sure, the door was never hung quite perfectly anyway (many years ago), so when it expands a bit, the door swells to the point where it begins to bind in the door jamb. Initially just a little snug, it did seem to be getting worse as the Fall progressed. No BIG deal, but it did become more and more difficult to close the door completely – and subsequently, opening it became less easy as time wore on.

So one solution is to fix the hinge(s) so that the door hangs properly! What a concept!! But that would require WAY too much effort. Removing the door, unscrewing the hinges, re-surfacing the jamb and/or chiseling away a bit of wood (if needed), re-attaching the hinges, and re-hanging the door. Whoa — soooooo much effort (not)! Incidentally, this was done without my knowledge or supervision, when I was on holiday back in the USA.

Another solution –> you can see below. Simply shave off the offending edge of the door so that it doesn’t bind in the frame anymore. I think he pulled off about 2-3 mm.

Well, that worked for a little while, but of course the door continued to expand with the onslaught of moisture included in the Ukrainian weather.

So the next idea is the real shocker. Shaving the door, though not elegant or pretty, seems like a logical approach, right? Especially if it’s just a “summer house,” and the cosmetic appearances of most everything out in the Ukrainian countryside is a bit “rough around the edges.”

Anyhow, the door is fabricated from several pieces of wood, needless to say. It appeared that the joints between the peripheral boards were the primary culprits of the expanding problem. So BIL reckoned that putting brackets on the door might prevent further expansion. Plus, if we squeezed the door together before installing the brackets, we may, quite possibly, eliminate the the door’s unshapely inadequacies altogether.

Of course, we didn’t have the proper brackets — which is why I balked at the idea when I was asked to fix the door before my trip to San Diego. But, that didn’s stop BIL.

So from the outside, this is what our door looks like. Pretty standard, I suppose.

From the inside, it looks like this:

So you can already see the finished product: Brackets (8) have been installed on the inner surface of the door in an attempt to hold the door “together,” preventing further expansion.

Now I have to say, it even looks OK. Perhaps it’s not the most attractive solution, but remember, we are at our summer shack, I mean house. It’s still a work in progress, big time, and someday if we need to buy a new door we can do it. But for the time being, perhaps slapping on some brackets (however flimsy they may be — and trust me, they aren’t made of the thickest steel I’ve ever seen.

Nevertheless, from a birdseye view, all is OK. Good job Bro!

Upon closer inspection, below is a close-up photograph of the bracket (top right one).

Note how the door doesn’t even look like it’s coming apart, but what the hell — let’s mount some brackets anyway. We have them, and we have the screws, so why not.

Well, how do I say this ?????….

Above is a screw on the left, and a nail on the right. Right?

Sure, it’s obvious.

And don’t you know…

… you use a screwdriver (above, left) to install screws, and a hammer (above, right) to install (hammer in) nails.

I think this is pretty straightforward, and something we learn in kindergarden (or earlier). Am I right?

Well on this day, the day the brackets were installed, BIL was running a bit short on time. Plus, it was a bit cold, and he couldn’t be bother to find the screwdriver. And, it was tooooo far to walk the 10 meters to look for the drill, and way too difficult to try to find an extension cord.

Soooo, have you guessed it yet?

Tick,

Tock,

Tick,

Tock,

Tick,

Tock,

Tick,

Tock,

Tick,

Tock,

Tick,

Tock,

Tick,

Tock,

Tick,

Tock,

Tick,

Tock,

* * * * * * * * *

That’s it,

Time’s up!

* * * * * * * * *

I SHIT YOU NOT…

Andre HAMMERED IN THE SCREWS TO MOUNT THE BRACKETS

He couldn’t be troubled to extend the energy required to find/use a screwdriver, and he was too lazy to get the right electric tools for installing the brackets properly.

So, I have to say it again, with my eyes closed, hands covering my face in despair, head lowered in front of me…

HE HAMMERED THE SCREWS

I don’t even know what else to say. I am completely dumbfounded, and even though he’s not a blood-brother, I’m ashamed. What in God’s name was he thinking? Does he NOT know that threads on a screw are intended to SLICE their way through the wood — and that is the ONLY way that they would/could function as a screw? Holy-moly.

Am I alone on this one? What is going on? Where am I? What am I doing here? Somebody help!!!!

Get me OUTTA HERE!!!!!   Mommy!

If he would have killed himself while installing the brackets, somehow, he just might have won a 1st place Darwin Award.

So I still haven’t put together all of the images I’d like to show you regarding my trip to the USA. So, for the time being, I thought I’d just catch you up on my life in the last week.

We pretty much go out every day to the market. Do the usual — buy food, pick up any household items on our list, and get the blood circulating a bit.

Christmas was WHITE this year. Yep, it’s been hovering around -5°C, and it snowed a couple of inches (5cm) on Christmas Day (December 25). We can see a chapel out of our window. It is for the hospital immediately behind it — and I suppose that’s where services are performed when someone passes away in the hospital.

I grabbed a bit of snow from the window sill, and made a snowball for Whitey. Yes, it was his first snowball ever. Put it in the tub, and he batted it around for about a minute – and then got bored.

We went for a walk, and I had to snap this picture of the snow sweeper. Basically it is a modified tractor. I guess most snow sweepers are… but this really looks like it was rigged from something that used to be in the potato field somewhere.

On Christmas day, I finally got all the ingredients together for the banana bread I’ve been talking about. I hopped on the net and found what looked like a damn good recipe. Indeed, it turned out great.

The bananas were COMPLETELY BLACK. I thawed them from the freezer for a day, and they were perfect.

Yes, we had to even go out and buy the pans for the bread. We really don’t have very much in the house, but it’s getting there, slowly but surely.

The final product:

We also put up some “Christmas” lights. They are BLUE LED’s. Pretty cool… and kind of expensive… but they have 8 modes, are 21 meters long (the string of 400), and criss-cross around the house. It makes for a nice atmosphere, I think.

Just after Christmas, I busted out all the makings for one of my favorite foods: Burritos. Yep, I brought all the necessities for making good burritos back with me from the USA. Well… I forgot (very unfortunately) the Jalapeno peppers — but everything else I got. Tortillas, refried beans, taco seasoning — all of which cannot be found here.

Here I was about half way through my 3rd burrito

And then today, NEW YEAR’S EVE 2008 (to be 2009), we had the outer door to our apartment fixed! Wooo-hoooo. That’s great news. We have a magnetic door to the building that keeps out the unwanted, most of the time. But in fact, it would be relatively easy to sneak in if you really tried. Then, when you get up to our floor, there is a door that separates the elevator from the 4 apartments on our side of the building. It has been broken since we moved in at the end of October.

Why today? Why would it get fixed on NYE?

I’ll tell you. It’s because of all the days of the year, NYE is the day with the HIGHEST AMOUNT OF HOME BURGLARIES!

No shit!

The neighbors finally ponied up to get the door fixed. Everyone knows that half (or more) of the apartments in the City are vacated on this night. PLUS, everyone is drinking and could care less about what else is going on around them. Thus — this leads to the highest crime rate of the year.

Unbelievably, when we asked the neighbor that was fixing the door, he said: “yeah, it’s because it’s NYE.” Damn… crazy!

Anyway, I’ve got to go eat some dinner and begin my drinking for the night. The family came to our house tonight, so we don’t have to worry about our stuff — but the family’s stuff is subject to a raid. Hopefully the neighbors will keep an eye out for the rest of the family jewels in Troeschina.

So here are pictures of our doors:

The fixed door:

The outer door lock — not that looks matter at all, but damn it looks bad.

And then you get to our door, which has two dead-bolts. Hopefully I don’t have to stand inside the door with my butcher knife in my hand. Actually… I think I’d prefer my 9-iron. That would hurt!!!

OK, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

We close the door on 2008 –>

… And open all of the doors (actual and metaphorically speaking) to 2009:

Cheers!

Love and Happiness to Everyone in the New Year

* 2009 *

Well, I’m back home. It’s been a week now, and I’m enjoying the new apartment. It started snowing a bit yesterday, and more is expected. Hopefully it’ll be a white Christmas when we wake up tomorrow.

Our cat is growing and causing trouble.

Helen is growing and causing trouble too

Anyhow, I have a bunch to tell you about my trip to the USA. Had a fabulous time. Played a bunch of golf, saw a whole lotta friends, and traveled quite a bit. I’ll write about it in the next post, and put in a bunch of pictures.

It’s kinda funny how after you don’t write for a while, you (I) become reluctant to do it again. I have ideas that I want to write, but I just don’t get around to it… and/or I don’t think it’s worthwhile. Nevertheless, once I write once or twice, I get back into it. Stay tuned…

Markets are always by Metro stops.